An Evening with Robert Butler, Director of 'The Menagerie'

Director Robert Butler and Archivist Mark Quigley (January 24, 2014)

I hope readers who were able to make it to the screening and Q&A with Robert Butler at the Billy Wilder Theater last week had as much fun as I did. The first pilot (along with 'Publish or Perish,' a terrific third season episode of Columbo) looked great on the big screen, and Butler was passionate and animated when discussing his work during the Q&A before intermission.

Butler began the Q&A by joking about Star Trek fans, which generated some laughs from an audience with more than a few "Trekkies" in it:

I don't see any costumes, and I welcome you whole-heatedly, with the confession that I spent a couple hours lately on the Star Trek DVDs that show the gatherings at various cities around the country. I was trying to figure out you, the Trekkies, and the legs, the quick popularity of the show. The thought I'm left with is I found you Trekkies a little less weird than I thought you might be.

When asked why he didn't do the second pilot, Butler explained:

Yeah, I turned it down simply because I'd been there. I think it was a couple of years later, we were talking about that. Gene had gone ahead, I think, and produced more of a television series that he had on the air at the time and I moved on to other things, and then he came to me with the offer [for the second pilot] and I passed because I'd been there. I had heard at the time, probably reasonably, that the network thought and said, "We like it, we believe it, we don't understand it, do it again." So Gene moonlit another script as he was making his subsequent existence, and the show was the result of that.

Butler's timeline is a bit off (the second pilot was produced seven months after the first pilot) and his recollections about Roddenberry producing "more of a television series" aren't quite right (Roddenberry wasn't working on another series, although he did produce two other television pilots during this period, The Long Hunt of April Savage and Police Story), but it's hard to blame him for forgetting a few details almost fifty years later. Memory Alpha indicates that Butler turned down the "envelope" as it was called because "he disliked the series" based on this interview, but I think that interpretation is a little unfair (Butler does admit to some "disdain" for the first pilot, but says this was good for him to have as a director, because it allowed him to approach the material with objectivity).

Butler also commented on the two-part season one episode, 'The Menagerie,' that incorporated footage from the first pilot:

I looked at 'The Menagerie' the other night. I thought a lot of the manipulation was kind of clever. They had this captain, Jeffrey Hunter, as a very distorted remnant of what he used to be, enabling an actor to sit and play him scarred and in the present at that time answering with light signals and so on.  It was kind of creepy and probably a very good idea at the time.

Butler immediately followed those comments by discussing the show's tone and its time period:

Incidentally, fifty years ago I saw a lot of innocence and sweetness and trust and less cynicism than we see now. Not that I endorse either one, but this is very aimed at us fifty years ago when we were more acceptable. I mean, the special effects are a little questionable in spots and of course we can see budgetary [restrictions] all over the screen compared to what we see today and yet those legs, that willing suspension of disbelief that we all seem to do, happens again. We follow the damned thing. It has some beckon for us that it works.

Butler seemed pleased with the pilot, which he watched in the audience. He was especially fond of two scenes early on that provided the series with the crucial "legs" it needed to succeed:

When the first shot kind of goes into the flight deck and we see the crew sitting there in control, and then there's that subsequent doctor-Pike scene that's so good. We've seen that scene thirty, sixty, a thousand times, the innervated hero needs a lift confessing to his mentor, whomever, and yet that beckon was in there. Those legs were playing, and in spite of the (chuckles) directorial superiority, the damned thing works! It's okay.

Mark Quigley, from the UCLA Film & Television Archive, mentioned teasing Butler about his proposed title change for the series, which Butler recounted:

Yes, I thought Star Trek was heavy. I tried to get Gene to change the title to Star Track. That seemed lighter and freer. It's not my business to be able to do that, and yet I was trying to convince him. I believed in it and, you know, water off a duck's back, which is okay.

When asked about the "make it dirty" philosophy he brought to Hill Street Blues, Butler spoke for a minute about the look of Star Trek:

I hated cleanliness. Star Trek was so [clean], I tried to get the scenery butchered up as though it had been in use, and I couldn't do it. The production designer was already working and I lost that argument. It's largely as many arguments as you can win. The more arguments you can win, the more singularity the yarn has. It's not rocket surgery, it's singularity, recognition of people at work and at play consistently and clearly and understandably. That's what we're trying to do, so we win as many arguments as we can.

That's just about six minutes of the Q&A. Butler went on to speak for an additional thirty-five minutes about the origins of his career as an usher at CBS, a stage manager at Studio City during the Golden Age of television, a busy director-for-hire (for such programs as The Twilight Zone and The Lieutenant, created by Gene Roddenberry), and ultimately an in-demand director of television pilots, including Hogan's Heroes, Batman, Hill Street Blues, and Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.

Since this is a blog devoted to Star Trek, I haven't transcribed Butler's other comments, but if there's sufficient interest, I would consider it.

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Author's Note: I've continued writing hard-hitting journalism for What Culture this week. So, if you're in the mood for some silly writing about television, I've linked to my latest work below.

January 29: 10 Silliest Things On 24 (And The Lessons To Be Learned From Them)
January 27: 5 TV Cliffhangers That Had Terrible Resolutions
January 26: Star Trek: 20 Worst Episodes Ever
January 23: Star Trek: 5 Great Storylines The Show Left Hanging
January 21: 10 Episodes That Should Have Changed Star Trek Forever – But Didn’t

Drive-In Dream Girls: Star Trek's First and Second Yeoman

Tom Lisanti's Drive-In Dream Girls: A Galaxy of B-Movie Starlets of the Sixties (2012) will primarily be of interest to Star Trek fans for its interviews with Laurel Goodwin and Andrea Dromm, Grace Lee Whitney's predecessors in the role of the Captain's Yeoman in 'The Menagerie' and 'Where No Man Has Gone Before.' The two actresses have rarely been interviewed about their roles on Star Trek, and provide some valuable insight into their experiences on the show. That being said, the book includes a few inaccuracies and some faulty memories in the chapters devoted to these two actresses which should be corrected before they become part of the popular myth of the making of Star Trek.

For example, consider the following passage about Laurel Goodwin, who appeared as Yeoman Colt in the first pilot episode:

After the pilot was complete, it was shown to all three networks, who passed on it. NBC, though, thought it had potential, but they felt it was too surreal and that the audience would not accept a woman as second in command. NBC commissioned a second pilot. All the actors were dropped except for Leonard Nimoy and Goodwin. Two weeks before filming began, Goodwin learned that she too was being let go. 'I was not replaced--the role was just dropped. I was mad because I missed out on other work during the pilot season from the previous year.'

--Tom Lisanti, Drive-In Dream Girls: A Galaxy of B-Movie Starlets of the Sixties (2012), p.41

The phrasing here suggests that Desilu produced Star Trek and then tried to sell it to one of the three networks, but that's not what happened. Desilu knew going into Star Trek that the series would be an expensive venture (indeed, the final cost of 'The Menagerie' was $615,781.56), and couldn't have afforded the series pilot without the financial backing of one of the networks. Luckily, after CBS turned down the program, NBC decided gave Star Trek a pilot commitment. Although the end result wasn't what they were looking for, NBC saw enough potential that they agreed to finance a second pilot episode, which became 'Where No Man Has Gone Before.' It's unlikely that ABC or CBS were ever screened either pilot, since it was an NBC program from early on in the development process.

Moreover, the claim that NBC "would not accept a woman as second in command" has been disputed, most notably in Herb Solow and Bob Justman's Inside Star Trek: The Real Story (1996). Solow and Justman maintain that NBC were perfectly happy with a strong female lead -- they just didn't like Majel Barrett. Roddenberry, not wanting to re-cast the role he had written for his mistress, chose to drop Number One entirely -- although he would later blame the network for this decision.

Laurel Goodwin as Yeoman Colt in "The Menagerie (1964)

The claim that "All the actors were dropped except for Leonard Nimoy and Goodwin" is simply false. None of the actors who worked on the first pilot had options for a second pilot in their contracts. When NBC ordered a second pilot rather than a series, the entire cast became free agents. Even Leonard Nimoy, who continued on with the series, had to negotiate a new contract, dated June 2, 1965 (read more about this in the post and comments here).

When it comes to Goodwin's statement that she wasn't told about being dropped from the series until two weeks before the second pilot went before the cameras (which would have been sometime in early July 1965, since photography of 'Where No Man Has Gone Before' commenced on July 19, 1965), I have to view this with some skepticism. Although Roddenberry was notorious for putting off the delivery of bad news, Colt had already been replaced by Yeoman Smith in the earliest teleplay of 'Where No Man Has Gone' Before (dated May 27, 1965).

Secondly, Goodwin's claim that she couldn't find work because of her commitment to Star Trek is at least partially incorrect. In the UCLA files there is an April 8, 1965 letter from Goodwin's agent to Ed Perlstein at Desilu which establishes terms in which Desilu agreed to take "second position" to Revue Studios (a subsidiary of Universal) while Goodwin auditioned for a Revue pilot. Goodwin didn't get the part (an unspecified role on the series Tammy, which was broadcast for one season from 1965-66), but that shouldn't be blamed on Star Trek.

Andrea Dromm as Yeoman Smith in "Where No Man Has Gone Before" (1965)

The chapter on Andrea Dromm has less to say about Star Trek, and only one claim worth examining here. Explaining why she didn't stick with the series, the book offers the following:

The character of Yeoman Smith was to become a regular on the series, but Dromm passed on it. Explaining her decision, Andrea Dromm says matter-of-factly, 'I was offered a role in The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming. They told me that you either do the film or the series. I chose the film, but if I had known that Star Trek would become such a phenomenon, I probably would have opted for the series.'

--Tom Lisanti, Drive-In Dream Girls: A Galaxy of B-Movie Starlets of the Sixties (2012), p.16

It's been nearly fifty years, so it's possible Dromm's memory is a bit fuzzy, but her account doesn't line up with the archival record. The following excerpt (dated April 11, 1966) of a letter from Roddenberry to Dromm (via her agent) can be found in the Roddenberry collection at UCLA:

Due to changes in format, budget structure, and character concepts, we cannot pick up a number of options, including yours. But we do hope that "Yeoman Smith" will reappear in future stories and hope we will be fortunate enough to find you interested and available at that time.

Roddenberry's suggestion that Yeoman Smith might appear in future stories was probably an empty gesture. He used the same boilerplate languages in the letters releasing Paul Fix and James Doohan from their contracts, which were sent on the same day (read more about James Doohan's fight to stay on Star Trek here).

Despite these mistakes, this post should not be interpreted too negatively. Lisanti's book presents interviews with a number of actresses who have never been asked to speak about their careers in detail. Laurel Goodwin's account of Majel Barrett's on-set relationship with Gene Roddenberry and Andrea Dromm's appraisal of the executive producer (which contradicts James Goldstone's account, from Inside Star Trek: The Real Story, that Gene Roddenberry only cast Dromm because he wanted to "score" with her) will be of interest to any Star Trek fans who want to know more about the production history of the series. Additionally, other actresses who appeared on the program, including Angelique Pettyjohn ('Gamesters of Triskelion'), Arlene Martel ('Amok Time'), Venita Wolf ('The Squire of Gothos'), Beverly Washburn ('The Deadly Years'), Sharyn Hillyer ('A Piece of the Action'), and Valora Noland ('Patterns of Force') are profiled by the book as well.

Author's Note: I recently signed on as a contributor to the pop culture website What Culture. My first post (a Star Trek-themed list, of course) is now online. Don't worry, though -- I'm not about to abandon Star Trek Fact Check. In fact, real life permitting, my research for this year is just getting started. Be seeing you.

Images courtesy of Trek Core.

Sources:

The Gene Roddenberry Star Trek Television Series Collection (1964-1969)

Inside Star Trek : The Real Story (Herbert F. Solow and Robert H. Justman, 1996)

Drive-In Dream Girls: A Galaxy of B-Movie Starlets of the Sixties (Tom Lisanti, 2012)

See Star Trek's First Pilot on the Big Screen with Director Robert Butler in Person for a Q&A

Susan Oliver, Gene Roddenberry, Robert Butler, and Bob Justman on the set of 'The Menagerie' (1964)

Readers who live in the Los Angeles area will want to put this one on their calendar. Robert Butler, who directed 'The Menagerie' (also known as 'The Cage') will be appearing in person at the Billy Wilder Theater in Westwood for a screening of Star Trek's first pilot on Friday, January 24, 2014 at 7:30pm. Admission is free; event parking at the theater is usually $3.

Also shown will be 'Publish or Perish,' a 1974 episode from the third season of Columbo, featuring several faces that might be familiar to Star Trek fans, including Mariette Hartley (Zarabeth in 'All Our Yesterdays') and Ted Gehring (one of the transported policemen in 'Assignment: Earth').

(Click Image to Enlarge, then right-click an select "Open image in new tab" to view full size)

Butler (now 86) has spoken about his involvement with Star Trek before, in an interview with Edward Gross for Starlog #117. I have included that interview above (view the full issue here). For those who will be in the Los Angeles area next week, I hope to see you at the screening!

Starlog courtesy of The Internet Archive.

Top image courtesy of Trek Core.

Unseen Trek: 'Sleeping Beauty' by Robert Bloch

Still from 'The Neutral Zone' (1988)

Story Outline by Robert Bloch (undated)

Review, analysis, and report by David Eversole

Originally Posted at Orion Press

TEASER

Four people beam aboard the Enterprise as it orbits Argelius II--Doctor Henning, Nancy Turner (handsome, late-30s), Jim Comstock (rugged, 40), Michael Oakes (a bright teenager) and Lou Jackson (squat, 50). While Doctor Henning is dressed normally, the other four all wear clothing styles of "today." (1966).

Kirk chastises Scotty when he makes a remark about their strange attire -- "No more of that. I want them treated with the utmost respect. Just remember -- all of them have been dead for over two hundred years."

ACT ONE

We soon learn that Argelius II is the last of the old Cryogenics Centers, and Doctor Henning is a cryobiologist. In the late-20th Century, suspended animation was perfected, and patients at the point of death could be frozen, hopefully to be revived at some future date. Social upheavals and the population explosion on Earth lead to the moving of those preserved to Argelius. In this move, most of the records and case-histories of these people were lost, but the knowledge of how to revive them remained. Of the sixteen people in suspended animation, these four survived being brought back to life, and the Enterprise is to ferry them to a transfer point, where they will board a ship to Earth.

Mr. Spock is interested in observing how these people react to their new environment. "Doc" McCoy is interested in the medical details of their cryogenic freeze. Kirk warns them both to stop thinking of these people as guinea pigs. He goes to meet the uneasy four. Nancy puts on a front of charm; Comstock is cynical; Jackson, flippant, and young Michael Oakes is very interested in the scientific marvels of this "brave new world."

Kirk asks them to go to their assigned quarters, where they will be served dinners. He mentions that later he is going to talk to Doctor Henning about their cases. All react somewhat oddly to this request, especially the fact that Kirk is going to discuss them with Henning, but they do as he asks.

Later, in the "Medical Area," Kirk and McCoy await Doctor Henning. He stumbles in, falls, dead, to the floor, a knife stuck in his back!

ACT TWO

The knife is a dinner-knife. One of the four revivees must have killed Henning. A Yeoman tells Kirk that she saw Doctor Henning visit each of them before he was to meet Kirk and McCoy. Knowing that whoever killed Henning will be missing their dinner-knife (their dinner plates have not been collected yet), Kirk decides to visit each of them to see whose knife is missing.

First he visits Nancy Turner. She is in a bit of a huffy mood because no one in this time recognizes her. She was a famous actress back in the day. She is shocked to hear that Henning is dead. Or is that just acting, Kirk wonders. Since Kirk knows that she was promised revived youth with her suspended animation, he doubts she would have killed the man who could have given her that. And her knife is on her plate.

Young Michael Oakes is shocked to learn of Henning's death. The doctor removed the brain tumor that was threatening Michael's life when he was revived. And like Turner, his knife is there on his dinner plate.

Jim Comstock is agitated when told of Henning's death. The doctor repaired his damaged heart when he was revived. He's even more agitated when Kirk demands to know where his dinner knife is. It is not on his plate. Finally, to Comstock's relief, Kirk sees the knife. It has simply fallen to the floor.

Lou Jackson doesn't care a whit that Henning is dead. No big deal to him. See, he's only interested in getting home and getting the loot he stashed away before he was frozen. To make his points more forcefully, he jabs at the air with his dinner knife.

When Kirk tells Spock of his lack of findings, Spock informs him that he has discovered that Henning was killed with the knife from his own dinner tray.

A killer is loose on Kirk's ship!

(And in a margin note on this investigation, Gene Roddenberry or John D. F. Black, or D. C. Fontana, or whoever, wonders why the hell Kirk didn't think of that before wasting all that time in endless talky scenes!)

ACT THREE

Kirk now conducts in-depth psychological interviews with each of the four. He goads Nancy Turner. She was lied to. Suspended animation can't restore her youth. She will now grow old and die like everyone else. Didn't Doctor Henning tell you this when you were revived? Didn't it anger you enough to kill him, he wants to know. Nancy weeps uncontrollably. Yes, he told her the bad news. Poor thing will grow old and withered, and... but she insists she didn't kill him.

Jim Comstock enters and tells Kirk to give the poor woman a break. Soon we learn that Comstock hated his former life. He hated the world of the late twentieth century, with its wars and hatred, but since his revival he has found the future to be just as bad. Today, you conquer worlds, not countries. Kirk asks if he was angry when Doctor Henning told him of the wars of this century. Yes, Comstock admits, he was angry, but not angry enough to kill him.

Spock goes to visit Michael Oakes. The teenager asks pointed questions about Spock's alien heritage, which embarrass him somewhat, but he gamely answers them. Spock gets Michael to admit he had a terrible childhood in an orphanage, but other than that he's just a normal kid. No clues here.

Kirk talks with Lou Jackson --

(Editorial intrusion: More margin notes complain that this outline is just one talk scene after another, with no action whatsoever! Give it some action, the notist begs, maybe have Jackson and Kirk slug each other.)

-- and discovers that he was a gangster who stashed loot everywhere before he was frozen. With the compound interest he hoped to be rich when he awoke two hundred years hence. Were you angry when Doctor Henning told you that your money did not accrue as you hoped it would due to the "statute of limitations on savings," Kirk asks. Sure, Jackson admits, he was angry, but not angry enough to kill him.

Kirk, Spock and Bones compare notes. They realize that they better find something out fast, for tomorrow they meet the transport ship which will take the four back to Earth. Bones declares that he wants to do things his way.

ACT FOUR

While giving Jim Comstock a medical examination, Doc leaves a scalpel within easy reach of the man. Comstock slowly picks it up... and hands it back to McCoy. He hates violence.

Nancy doesn't even notice the scalpel Doc leaves in easy reach of her during her examination. Doc does discover that she has given birth in the past. It was a baby boy, she admits, it died at birth.

Lou Jackson grows angry during his exam, grabs the scalpel and waves it about. Has Doc discovered the murderer? No. Jackson calms down, tosses the scalpel aside. He's clean, wants to stay that way. Yeah, he's angry about losing all his dough, but he reckons he can start over. He's smart, can play the barely legal rackets in this century just as well as he did in his.

Doc examines Michael's brain tumor scar tissue. Through gentle questioning, he learns that Michael wasn't in an orphanage, he was confined in a mental institution. Michael stares at the gleaming scalpel. McCoy induces a hypnotic state in the young man and questions him about the killing of Doctor Henning.

Suddenly a hand grabs the scalpel.

Nancy Turner wields it in McCoy's face!

The lights go on and Kirk is there. He subdues Nancy and we discover the truth. Michael is her son. She did not want the burden of a mentally disturbed child to detract from her career. When it was discovered that his behavioral aberrations stemmed from a brain tumor, she decided to have him frozen in suspended animation. A delayed maternal instinct caused her to be frozen with him. She killed Doctor Henning because she didn't want him to tell Michael the truth.

Jim Cromwell comforts Nancy. She will have to stand trial, but she takes comfort from Doc McCoy telling her that Michael is totally cured. And, she is told, today criminals are not punished; they are rehabilitated.

From the outline:

And the Enterprise goes on, carrying its strange cargo to meet varied fates in the world they've come to from the past...

FINAL THOUGHTS

I love the works of Robert Bloch, from his novels, to his short stories to his various teleplays and screenplays. He almost never fails to entertain... "almost never." This is not a very good outline. There's little mystery, little incentive -- (Editorial Intrusion: If I go down tomorrow to see my investment counselor, and he tells me solely because of my own stupidity I am broke, wiped out, skint, I'm gonna be angry. I may scream, throw things, drop the "F Bomb" at the top of my lungs, but why the hell would I kill the messenger of the bad news I brought upon myself? Likewise, if someone points out that there is an unjust war going on in Country X, I'm not going to stick a dinner knife in her back for informing me of this...) -- for any of the suspects to kill poor Doctor Henning. And as the writer of the marginal notes pointed out at least twice, it's all talk. And the title is bad as well.

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Image Courtesy of Trek Core.

Review originally posted at Orion Press.

Editor's Note: Marc Cushman's These Are The Voyages claims this outline was written "on spec" by Robert Bloch after he finished work on 'What Are Little Girls Made Of?' There's no source for this claim, and since the outline itself is undated, it is probably speculation. If anyone has access to an interview with Bloch where he talks about this story outline, I'd love to read it. Cushman also claims that this outline was nixed because it "was in conflict with 'Space Seed,' that other sleeping beauty story in the works." I suspect this is also speculation on Cushman's part, since nothing in the archival collection at UCLA suggests this, and Cushman doesn't cite a source. It seems more likely, based upon the hand-written notes found on the draft in the Roddenberry collection, that the outline was rejected because it was talky, made Kirk reactive rather than active, and had little action. Beyond the suspended animation angle, the outline bears little resemblance to 'Space Seed,' anyways. Today, I suspect Star Trek fans will find it has more in common with 'The Neutral Zone' from Star Trek: The Next Generation than it does with any episode of the original series.

Writing 'A Private Little War,' Star Trek's Allegory for the American War in Vietnam (Part Five)

Still from 'A Private Little War' (1967)

On August 21, 1967, ten days after Fontana and Justman’s memos about the first draft of 'A Private Little War,' Gene Coon sent a thirteen page memo of his own to Don Ingalls requesting numerous changes to the script. He began cordially, writing, “Generally speaking, this is the story we talked about,” but quickly moved onto discussing the changes he wanted in detail.

Fontana was worried the location would make the episode too similar to ‘Friday’s Child.’ Justman simply felt the location was impractical, noting that “we have been damned unsuccessful in finding things like [verdant paradises] outside.” Coon relayed both of these concerns to Ingalls, and said, “I think we should make the planet Neural a semi-arid, rocky, mountainous terrain, rather than the verdant paradise you describe. Southern California is short on verdant paradises.”

There was also the believability problem of the premise. Keeping the Neuralese from seeing advanced technology was what drove the story, but beaming down with only one phaser didn’t make sense. Coon split the difference, writing, “Logically, despite the necessity for non-interference, all of our people would carry hand phasers on their belt and communicators. In addition, McCoy would carry his small medi-kit. However, we must establish very strongly in the early portions of film that under no circumstances, except as an absolute life and death last resort, can we use any of the phasers or any other gadgets in the presence of any Neuralese.”

Perhaps disappointed that ‘Friday’s Child’ and ‘The Trouble with Tribbles’ had dropped the darker complexion of the Klingons seen in ‘Errand of Mercy,’ Coon advised Ingalls that “we should establish that [Krell] is coppery colored and has rather peculiar hirsute adornment. We usually invent weird beards for Klingons.” Krell’s make-up would ultimately mark a return to the design from ‘Errand of Mercy,’ as would all subsequent Klingon appearances in the third season.

Following Justman’s suggestion, Coon instructed Ingalls to “please have a security man beam down with our party” and be wounded instead of the Captain. He reasoned that, “if Kirk…were seriously injured, it would be logical, if McCoy could not treat him on the ground, to beam him back to the Enterprise, and, boy, would we bit in a lot of trouble as far as our story goes.” He also asked Ingalls to implement Justman’s idea that the great ape later “scratch or bite” the captain, making McCoy’s inability to treat him and Nona’s success with herbal remedies more plausible. Coon noted this had parallels to “some of our Indians [having] native remedies for the bites of rattlesnakes.”

In regards to the similarities to ‘Friday’s Child,’ Coon’s solution was to lampshade the problem by having the characters address it in dialogue. “Please specify exactly that we have seen the Klingon do almost the same thing on the planet Capella,” he told Ingalls. “I specify this because in a script called ‘Friday’s Child’ which will air prior to ‘A Private Little War’, we have seen the Klingons competing with the Federation for the loyalties of a primitive people on an undeveloped planet. We might also invent several other planets where we have played out the same game with the Klingons.”

In other areas, Coon suggested ways Ingalls could differentiate his teleplay from ‘Friday’s Child,’ and ease the production process. For example, he wrote, “In a show with the Capellans which I mentioned a moment ago, they were giants. I would much prefer to go with a planet of short, squat, muscular men. But even this might be difficult to cast, so I think we should assume that the Neuralese are just normal people.”

Mincing no words, Coon objected to the characterization of Ty-Ree in relation to his wife, writing:

There is a touchy area in almost all the scenes between Ty-Ree and Nona. We seem to get the impression that Ty-Ree [is] impotent in regarding his wife. Granted, he has a lot on his mind, but I’m sure you and I have a lot on our minds, but we manage to get in our screwing with our lawful wedded spouses from time-to-time. The impression throughout this script is that Ty-Ree just isn’t making it with her. Certainly Nona can complain that she isn’t getting enough attention, but please let’s not get the implication of sexual impotence as far as Ty-Ree is concerned.

Much like Fontana and Justman, Coon had other concerns about Ty-Ree’s characterization as well, telling Ingalls that, “we must positively be sure that Ty-Ree never comes off like a coward.” He advised Ingalls to make the character stronger and more proactive, and less dependent on “Kirk to take his irons out of the fire.”

Recognizing an opportunity for a little bickering between Spock and McCoy, an element of the series which Coon liked, the writer-producer told Ingalls:

McCoy, being a typical doctor, probably would not be so eager to accept a primitive home remedy. But, Spock, who has an encyclopedic memory, could list a number of famous native cures on other planets which have startled medical science and say that it is logical to try the native remedy here. This could be a good scene of conflict between Spock and McCoy, and as the saying goes, “it wouldn’t hurt”.

Coon also shared Justman’s concern that Nona’s ambitions weren’t fully explained in the script, and suggested Ingalls write a scene “in which we see that she is an incipient Lady Macbeth… Nona wants to be a queen… If it is so established early and well, then we will understand her actions a lot better throughout the script.”

Ingalls, like many freelancers, had some trouble adapting to the futuristic world of Star Trek. In his script, for example, Captain Kirk wore a watch, which Coon corrected and then added, with a sense of wit, “Please do not ask me how they tell time. I don’t know.” Elsewhere, Ingalls had McCoy dress Kirk’s wounds with a conventional bandage, to which Coon responded, “We spray bandages out of a little can. They are invisible.”

Lastly, echoing Fontana’s criticism that the script was short on action, Coon advised Ingalls, “I feel the need for more action, since we have a great deal of talk, [philosophy] and politics throughout here, but not very much action.” He suggested an attack by some of Apella’s men after the failed truce talks, where “a couple of Ty-ree’s men are killed [and] of course, we overcome because we are the heroes.”

Discussing the political allegory of the story, Coon drew some chilling parallels between the actions of the Enterprise crew in the script and contemporary political struggles:

Captain Kirk and his men, in this particular show, are put rather in the situation of the current day CIA which has secret instructions to go in and overthrow a government. This is not necessarily a moral or a decent thing to do, but it is something that must be done. We do not, however, call attention to it. We do everything we can to keep it [quiet].

Later in the memo, Coon addressed the story's allegory for Vietnam, and invoked the domino theory in his analysis:

The Klingon’s [sic] would not like an excuse to declare open war on the Federation. We have always played them very much like the Russians. They want to gain their aims by any means short of actual war. I would like a little rationality from Kirk besides simply saying he has to do this because he is ordered. After all, in the current situation in Vietnam we are in an intolerable situation. We are doing exactly that which we are forced to do, and we can find no other way to do it. Certainly there are rules and orders, and Kirk is operating under rules, but they are not arbitrary rules. They outline the only course we have been able to figure out to take. If we are to honor our commitments, we must counter-balance the Klingons. If we do not play it this way, and it is admittedly the hard way, the Klingons will take over and threaten the Federation, even as the situation is in Vietnam, which is, as I remember, if Vietnam falls all Southeast Asia falls. In this case, if Neural falls, this entire quadrant of space falls. Please let us have Kirk give a logical presentation of his own and the Federation’s dilemma. Yes, it is evil, but we have never been able to figure out another alternative. 

Later, Coon invoked Vietnam again, writing:

I think Kirk should point out that there is a moral difference between killing and fighting to protect oneself. Besides, this might be a very good place to establish that we will send advisors who will teach them to defend themselves, to protect themselves against aggression. Why don’t we follow the Johnsonian line in Kirk’s speech throughout, because he is, after all, a man in the military service and he must, as do our own ambassadors, follow the line which is the official line of his government. 

Finally, Coon discussed the ending of the piece, the parallels to Vietnam, and the potential fight the script might lead to, presumably with NBC:

I have a fine idea, or at least I think [its] fine. That is, to make the bottom of page 62 the last line of the show. I am willing to fight for the line: “there isn’t one damned thing you and I can do about it”. I guarantee you it will be a fight, but I have warred in these things before. If we do so, however, we’ll have to insert earlier in the page the line, yes we’ll drop advisors now but I wonder how long it will be before we’ll have to drop off troops”. At this time, it should be evident to everyone that we have essentially been talking about Vietnam and the war is off and running. What we are trying to sell is the hopelessness of the situation. The fact that we are absolutely forced into taking steps we know may be morally wrong, but for our own enlightened self-interest, there is nothing we can do about it. Plus the fact that it is also to Ty-Ree’s own best interest that we are doing these things.

In Gene Coon’s mind in 1967, the American War in Vietnam was immoral and hopeless – but ultimately inevitable and inescapable, and in the best interest of the South Vietnamese people. The writer-producer died in 1973, two years before the war’s conclusion, but it’s hard not to wonder what his version of ‘A Private Little War’ would have been like just a few years later.

As was often the case on Star Trek, the production needed the script as soon as possible. Getting the script into shape, however, would ultimately take another month and a major rewrite by Gene Roddenberry.

(To Be Continued in Part Six)

(Part One can be read here, Part Two here, Part Three here, and Part Four here).

Image courtesy of Trek Core.

Source:

The Gene Roddenberry Star Trek Television Series Collection (1964-1969)